Archive for June, 2009

One person I command you to read is my Twin. She's not my biological Twin, but she's way closer to me than a sister or a best friend... she's incredible! We basically have saved each others lives a few years ago and we continue to to this day. Twin is a beautiful person, she loves God and she loves everyone. I love her so much, more than she could ever know. She loves taking pictures, randomly doing whatever... she's always supported my music and she tolerates my stories! Thank God for that! Twin... if you're reading this, know that nothing could ever separate us... not land, sea, air, Satan, people, problems, life... Requirement for Husband: MUST LOVE YOU! Because I love you and that will never change.

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My second more-than-sister is Lizzie (I call her Izzy). She's a wonderful, God-centred person who had never ever left my side- not in the ten years we've been best friends! She knows just what to say and has always supported me, too. She loves sports- I mean, she loves sports! She could play basketball all day long! She has a wonderful family, and a beautiful personality... Love you, Iz.

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Third more-than-sister (actually, we're practically the same person, as we like to put it) is DeKaff. Insert hugest smile evarrrrr. We have the best music test in the world. She my Jack to the Mannequin, Dark to the Blue, La La to the Lie, etc. etc. I don't know how I've ever survived without her. Knowing that someone else out there knows what depression feels like, and knows what writer's block really feels like, and who knows why writers cry when characters die, and knows why Andrew McMahon is a flipping genius and can make a grown man cry - it keeps me sane. I love her so much... yeah, I just need light, the light in the dark as I search for the Resolution...

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And then there's God (The Trinity). My beautiful, beautiful, beautiful Savior. I would have definitely committed suicide three years ago if I hadn't known, if He hadn't been there every second of my misery, holding me tight against His being, clutching onto me whispering, "I love you, daughter, I love you". He is, was, and always will be with me, especially when I've chosen to ignore Him, when I act against Him, when I love Him, when I fall on my knees and cry out to Him... even if He chose to let my world fall apart in a moment, I could never, ever deny Him. I could never say that He doesn't exist. I could never say that He didn't love me. Because that- that would be the biggest lie I could ever tell you.

xx